Twins: What Do I Need Two Of?

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I have a friend who I am writing this post for, who is pregnant with twins! I am so thrilled for her and her family, and she doesn’t know what she is in for… double the joy, double the love, double everything!

So I haven’t written in a while! I have missed it. I went through an extremely stressful period, but thankfully we are out of it and slowly settling, in a NEW home! I have traded my stress for new stress it feels like, but I’m working hard to take it down so I can write on a regular basis like I wanted to. I hope you can forgive me for my lack of dedication.

Alright! So lets move on to this awesome new post! My friend asked what my must-haves were for twins and I realized that I did not have a check-list type post specifically for twins. What?! If you haven’t seen my amazing Baby Checklist, you should check it out. I outline in a really cute and handy printable a thorough new-baby checklist and to-do list. In this post, for my twin mamas, I’m going to let you know what you need double of, and what you may want to buy two of. Also, I’m going to include some things made specifically for twins and some tips for shopping for twins!

You already know you’ll need two car seats and two cribs, but what about everything else? Keep in mind that all babies are different, so when you buy two of these things, a great thing to do is to not open everything before they arrive. Only open one of each thing and see how each twin likes them. If you find that one of your babies only wants to use the bouncer, or doesn’t like her bassinet, then take the unopened swing back so you can save some money. Twins are expensive!

You may need doubles of:

1. Rock ‘N Play sleeper by Fisher-Price or a bassinet of your choice.

2. A simple Bounce Seat. Perfect for letting your babies kick and bounce while you get things done around the house.

3. Baby Carriers/Wraps if you’re going to be going out, these are a lifesaver! Some babies HATE being in car seats and they want to be close, so let Dad pack one of the twins around while you carry the other!

4. High Chairs or chair attachments seats like this one, made by Fisher Price!

5. Baby Swings.

6. Boppy Pillows– one for you and one for another family member or friend to use while they hold the other twin. Also great if you’re breastfeeding!

You only need one:

1. Bathtub

2. Twin Stroller- I highly recommend Baby Trend Double Snap-N-Go for their car seats! Its amazing and cost effective! Later on, I recommendBaby Trend Sit N Stand Double stroller for your toddler-sized twinnies! I had great success with both of these items and I didn’t have to spend a fortune.

3. Tummy Time Mat or play gym!

4. Pack N Play (optional)

 

The next few things I’m going to show you are items made just for twins!

1. Something you might want to look into for breastfeeding twins is a My Brest Friend Twin breastfeeding pillow. There is also a breastfeeding pillow called the Twin Z pillow that is really cool!

2. Take a look at Table For Two, an adorable seat to make feeding easier!

3. The Twingaroo is a baby carrier made for twins!

 

As far as everything else you might need for baby in general, please don’t forget to look at my ultimate checklist of baby items! Click Here!

Am I missing anything? Let me know! Thanks for reading!

Breastfeeding twins: What you need, and some tips to help.

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^Our twins Jackson and Levi.

Breastfeeding twins sounds like a near-impossible feat. So much to worry about. So time consuming. What if I don’t make enough milk for two babies? Can I do that?! Can I really nourish two babies.. Adequately? Will they be healthy? What if they don’t gain enough weight? How will I get any sleep? Is it even possible to hold two babies nursing at the same time?!

These are some of the thoughts I had when I was pregnant with my twin boys. Even as a breastfeeding veteran, I was terrified. I felt very intimidated by the thought of two babies needing me every three hours around the clock for their first few months of life.. Even though I have a combined four years of breastfeeding under my belt, I still felt like it was a crazy thing for me to expect myself to be able to do. I can only imagine what moms think of their abilities to do this who have no breastfeeding experience at all.

Im here to say this:

You can nurse your twins. Effortlessly.

It takes patience, determination, and willingness to alter your schedule and your tasks around your babies’ needs.

I’m going to give you the best advice I have, from my experiences nursing my sons. I hope it helps:)

During pregnancy To-Do’s:
1. Plan maternity leave if you are working. The more time home with your babies, the better.
2. Get a high quality breast pump. A lot of insurances are covering the cost of a breast pump, I highly recommend looking into this!
3. Learn and read everything you need to know about using the pump, and reading about when to pump and breast milk storage.
4. Get your basic nursing essentials from my list Breastfeeding Essentials!
5. Buy two Fisher Price Rock ‘n Plays. The closer your babies are to you at night, the better. There are so many good things about this little bassinet when it comes to breastfeeding. It’s portable, it’s safe, it’s comfortable, and it’s small. You can find one on Amazon by clicking here:Here

6. Do your HOMEWORK.

The one thing that I urge moms to do is read. Educate yourself about breastfeeding. The more information and knowledge you have before your start, the better your confidence will be about nursing to your goals.

Expect yourself to run into road bumps. Everyone does. Research all of these things and PLEASE only go to trusted sources for breastfeeding info.

My top nursing go-to website is Kellymom.com.
You should also seek support from your local La Leche League Group, you can find information here at LLLI.org.

These are some basic road bumps that I have had to deal with:

-correcting poor latch
-engorgement
-clogged ducts
-milk blebs
-mastitis
-nursing a sick baby(stopped up nose)
-nursing strike
*Another thing, don’t believe breastfeeding advice from just anyone. There are a lot of things people think are supposed to help with nursing but really only hurt your efforts. There are myths out there that may make your struggles so hard that you cannot continue. Your great aunts sisters niece might mean well, but only take their advice with a grain of salt. Do your homework. Do your research before you take any advice.*

When your babies are born:

– begin breastfeeding right away, as soon as you can. If it is possible, ask that absolutely no formula is given to either of your babies. If you can’t physically nurse your babies (if they need to be in the NICU, begin pumping when you can.)
-get in touch with the breastfeeding consultant while you are in the hospital and make sure all of your questions are answered and you feel confident about nursing your babies.
I was adamant about nursing both of my twins at the same time while I was in the hospital. I wanted to know I could do it. I don’t really know why I wanted to, but the encouragement from the staff at the hospital really helped me. They were really surprised that I was actually attempting it and doing it! And I wondered to myself, do most twin moms not try? I surely hope it is not the lack of confidence that keeps twin parents (or any parents, rather) from breastfeeding their babies. I realize that the amount of support that a new mom gets when she starts breastfeeding truly can make or break her. I just can’t assume most moms will toughen up and have that determination all by themselves. It was a miracle that I did, because I had no support when we had our first baby. But I can see that it doesn’t happen for everyone. If this post helps just one mom, I would feel like I have done my job for my entire blog, you know? I want all breastfeeding moms to know that they CAN do this and that they CAN get through the road bumps. You can.

Not necessarily tandem nursing, that’s optional. But the truth is, you’re going to have to do it at some point. Those babes are going to be crying at the same time, you’re going to realize that you have two boobs! (Lol.) and really, it isn’t that bad. Tandem nursing is an art. And you don’t need anything but a comfortable place to sit.

More on that later.

When you come home from the hospital, get a journal and keep it next to you and write down every poo diaper, every pee, When they nurse and how long they nurse. Their doctor is going to want to know all of that anyway, but it helps your confidence level. Knowing they are giving you plenty of wet diapers means they’re getting enough to eat. And when you write it down, you don’t have to rack your sleepy brain to try to remember the blur of the last week to see if he’s had a drop in pee diapers, when you feel discouraged that he’s not getting enough milk. (Sorry for the forever-long sentence just then.)

Another HUGE thing I want to tell moms:
Fall in love with water.
Water is going to be the key to success. You need to have great, clean, good tasting water. The Sam’s Choice bottled water at Walmart is just fine and it tastes great. I’m extremely picky about my water, so trust me on that one! Nursing my 8 month old twins, I go through three 32-pack bottled water packs in two weeks.
You need to keep a bottle close to you at all times. Breastfeeding makes you thirsty (obviously) but don’t wait until you get thirsty to drink. Keep one with you while you’re nursing and when you sleep. Another saying that is easy to remember, Drink when they drink!

Stay on your prenatal vitamins. Don’t stop them just because you aren’t pregnant anymore. You’re still nourishing their every need. <3

Keep snacks with you close by, and don’t get hungry. Don’t worry about dieting because one great thing about nursing is that those pregnancy pounds will disappear! I was still hanging onto 40lbs when the twins were born, and now I’m down to 15lbs. So keep your diet full of good, healthy foods and stay full, because you’re still eating for three. 🙂

Night-time Nursing:

One big thing I’ve learned nursing twins is if you want to get any sleep, nurse your babies at the same time throughout the night. For example, if Baby A wakes up at 2:30am, nurse and lay him back down, but wake Baby B up to nurse as well. That way, you don’t nurse Baby A and go back to sleep just for Baby B to wake up hungry in a half hour later when you just barely got to sleep again. That way both babies are fed and hopefully sleep another 2-3 hours before someone wakes up again. Eventually they’ll get on the same pattern and it’ll help you tremendously when you’re trying to sync up their schedules.

Now, some may not agree with me on this and that’s alright, but here’s another tip: let Dad do most of the work through the night. Let him do the diaper changes. Let him get up to get them. You need your rest. I know how hard it is not to do those things yourself but breastfeeding takes HALF of a mothers energy. Half. You need every ounce of sleep you can get. If you’re doing the massive task of feeding two babies with your body, he can change a diaper half asleep. He will be alright. You stay asleep when the babes go to fussing at night, let him get them a fresh diaper and then you can wake and nurse. Let him put them back to bed.

Speaking of rest, learn to nurse while laying down. It’s probably not feasible when they’re newborns but as they get a little older and they grow a little, side lying is best at night for nursing because you can fall right back to sleep very easily. You don’t have to get up and get a nursing pillow and situate yourself and then situate baby. It takes a lot of energy to do that half asleep and can make you dread night feedings.

Prepare for hunger. When my first daughter was born my husband actually made me a sandwich before we went to bed. It is kind of funny now that I think about it but it really helped. I would wake up starving and I would gobble down whatever I could get. Pb&J sandwiches would fill me up until morning. 🙂 You will get hungry throughout the night and if you can, eat up!

Whew I’m exhausted.
I will do a Part 2 post soon! Thanks for reading. 🙂

Blogger Babes Link Party

The Birth of My Twins!

I’ve been wanting to write their birth story for a while and I know a few who want to know how things really went. The pregnancy was incredibly difficult for me although on paper, it was (almost) completely uneventful-that which I am very thankful for.

I made it to 37 weeks with my twins. I know that is a huge a accomplishment for a twin pregnancy and I’m very proud to say I did it! It didn’t come easy. I was so relieved when the doctor told me that we were going to the hospital that night because my anxiety was back in full swing. Being pregnant with twins is extremely nerve wracking. You are feeling two babies move and hiccup and kick and you’re constantly trying to figure out who is kicking and you have double to worry about as well. I was mainly focused on Twin To Twin Syndrome (TTTS) which is common in the later stages of a twin pregnancy and I hadn’t been feeling Jackson move as much. During my entire pregnancy, they were in the same spot and the same sides. The whole time!

I was staying at home with my girls still too, and if you can imagine two 6lb babies sitting on your bladder and having two toddlers pulling you around the house all day, you can imagine the exhaustion I was dealing with! For some reason I thought anything could be better than this. Even two newborns. At least I would have my body back, right? Wrong.

After I got through shaking in the car, after my doctor gave me the plan for the induction, I called my husband and told him to ready the troops. The babies are coming tonight! I called my dad to let him know and my sister. I was to arrive at the hospital at 10 o’clock.

I went home and spent the afternoon with my girls and put them to bed. Soon after that my mother and father in laws came to the house to keep the girls overnight for us, and we headed to the hospital.

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^^ yeah. Big as a HOUSE. I know. I was actually already having contractions!

Several hours into the induction and I was doing really good. The pain wasn’t all that bad, everything was going pretty good. It wasn’t until it was about 6 in the morning that I started getting tired and hungry. The pain was worse and I was having trouble focusing on breathing through the contractions. With any twin delivery you have to have an epidural anyway. So I thought, why go through this pain. Get the epidural over with.

It was probably the worst pain I’ve ever felt, the worst epidural I’ve had. I had three, long horrible contractions during the epidural. It felt like it lasted for hours. I must’ve not been fully numbed but I’m cringing just typing this out so I’m gong to stop there.

When it was over, I finally was able to relax. I could deal with the fading pain of the contractions and focus on breathing again and close my eyes. Until I felt like I was being suffocated. I started gasping for air. I felt like screaming but I couldn’t and I couldn’t get anyone’s attention around me. I grabbed the arms of the bed and pulled myself up without any relief and punched the nurse button, feeling like someone was sitting on my lungs. Like I was going underwater, drowning. She finally answered and I got out, “I can’t breathe”

The next thing I knew there were two nurses beside me, looking at me, then looking at the screen. The head anesthesiologist rushed in and checked something and I was scared, my anxiety filling up my ears and drowning them out and all I could think was, God don’t let this happen. Please don’t let me go. I was afraid that I was dying. I heard them saying, “we can’t do that or she will bottom out.” My blood pressure did drop dangerously low and my pulse was getting very high.

I was having an anxiety attack on top of the reaction my body had to the epidural. They gave me something in the IV and told me to calm down. Focus on breathing slowly, tune everything out. And we watched my heart rate fall back to normal. I had to do that for hours and hours. My body was getting so tired and without food, I was losing all of the little strength I had left. With no rest and no nourishment, I was begging God to let me be ready. Let it be time, please.

Finally. 23 1/2 hours after checking into the hospital, it was time.

Everyone excitedly cheered as they rolled my bed out of the room and down the hall toward the OR, while my husband, fully scrubbed, followed behind me.

The OR was cold and bright, and I was scared of what I was going to endure in the next few minutes but I just couldn’t wait to finally see my precious boys. Nine long months of waiting, filled with worry and joy and everything in between. They prepared me and Josh. Telling me what was going to happen, what to get ready for, and then my doctor did a quick ultrasound to check on the boys again before it was time to push.

My heartrate was steadily climbing the more anxious I got. I began to push but I had no strength. The boys growing had literally separated my abdominal muscles and I had nothing when I tried to push. I had to push harder than I ever had, I had to give it all that I had. Every ounce of energy I used. But my heart rate was getting dangerously high. I was freaking out because no matter how hard I tried, nothing was happening. Barely, if anything. My doctor told me to calm down and breathe and it dawned on me, God I’m hyperventilating again.

With a little help from my doctor, my precious boy Jackson was finally born. Time stood still. He cried and searched for me, and I got to cradle him on my chest until a nurse whisked him away and before I could take another breath, my doctor told me to bear down again, NOW.

After another push, my little Levi was born. He was blue. My doctor gave him a good thump on his rear and he cried his signature Levi cry that I still hear today. God got me through it and my boys were born safe and sound.

Jackson Lane was born at 9:11pm 5lbs 6oz.

Levi Jordan was born at 9:14pm 5lbs 15oz.

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The moment after that was unlike any feeling I could describe. It was the same when my daughters were born. Time stood still. Everything around me froze for just a moment. All my worries. All my burdens. All of the tears and the pain and the struggle just melted away. Looking into the eyes of my first sons. Jacksons little nose and Levi’s sweet dimples. It was all so worth it.

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Theyre 8 months old now. It’s crazy how time flies. It feels like I just had them. Now I’m working on helping them crawl. I hope you enjoyed reading! 🙂

Finding out we were having twins: Our Double Rainbow

Here is the long long story that I’ve wanted to tell. It’s been one year!

Finding out we were having twins:

Our Double Rainbow

We had always joked around that my husband, Josh, had psychic powers when it came to our children. Somehow, he knew big details about every pregnancy we have had, subconscious thoughts, mostly. He just knew, while I racked my brain and symptoms for any “signs” that might come to me. I’m weird.. instead of driving myself crazy with waiting, I used my time in between big events in our journey by doing loads and loads of research on any one symptom or thought. It can be very time consuming and research makes my heart happy.

Anyway. The August before we conceived the twins, I got pregnant. We didn’t think I was actually pregnant, I actually gave up taking pregnancy tests because I just thought that it didn’t happen, why waste the money. I let it go, and one day I woke up and Josh had gone to run some errands, I decided to use my last digital test because it was going to burn a hole in my cabinet if I didn’t use it. I don’t like to wait.. But I’ve told you that. I took it and let it sit there on the counter. Preparing myself for the “Big Fat Negative”. And I was trying to tell myself it was okay, I mean, we just moved to our new home and we really weren’t trying to get pregnant so it’s okay… I would be broken hearted but we have plenty of time to have more children… Don’t be upset if it didn’t happen.

“Pregnant 1-2 Weeks”

My jaw dropped. I attempted to look closer because I couldn’t believe my eyes, Ava was crawling all over me and I was in complete shock. “Wow! Oh my God!” I sat there alone for a minute trying to regenerate my thoughts, “okay. Okay! I’m pregnant. We are having another baby. Oh what is he going to think.” I took a picture of the test and sent it to him via text, with a smiley face next to the picture. He rushed home and gave me a big hug. I was like, ..what if it is too soon? What if I can’t handle this? Three children.. Josh was happy, though, and he lifted my spirits.

We spent the week enjoying the moment during pregnancy that you can be excited and feel awesome before the 1st Trimester really starts to show her big (green) face. We went out and my mother bought me a pregnancy journal. I love them and I wanted one that I could record every detail in. I wasn’t planning on having any more than 3, so I wanted to make the most of my last pregnancy. We went to eat at Cracker Barrel, just the two of us. It was a wonderful afternoon but something just didn’t feel right.

The next morning my mom took my girls to my dads house to visit, before I woke up. I remember tossing and turning because I was in a lot of pain, in that half asleep phase that you can make up any excuse to stay in bed. I just told myself it was the baby getting comfy in there, as that can happen during early stages of pregnancy. I got up because I couldn’t sleep through the pain anymore. Then I realized why the pain was there. I was bleeding, a lot. I was miscarrying. Again. Instant tears. Josh rushed in to see what was wrong and we sat there in the bathroom together for the longest time while I cried over our second loss. This one was much, much faster than our first miscarriage. But still so painful and heartbreaking. Some friends convinced me to go to the hospital with my last bit of hope, praying for a miracle, maybe it was just a complication, maybe the baby was still alive.

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The hospital doctor didn’t give me a minute of his attention. Chemical pregnancy, happens all the time. Move along. I had a nurse who noticed me, though. He helped me through it. Gave me a box of tissues, and told me about his experience with miscarriage, and he tried to make me feel better. He really cared and although I left with a heavy heart, I felt thankful for my nurse. I needed to hear what he said, because I was being hit with a thousand flashbacks of my first miscarriage. I was about to go off the edge in a downward spiral, but his kind words pulled me back. I got through a second trimester miscarriage. I can get through this too. Prayer, Brit. Just pray.

And now that I am writing this, I realized that was God. He sent me my guardian angel that day.

I put on a smile the next day, hosting my sisters first baby shower. I enjoyed myself and it let me escape my mind for a little while. I put all of my energy into making sure my sister had a wonderful time, we were all so thrilled for the impending arrival of the first little boy on my side of the family.

I tried to get through my emotions by ignoring them, and it didn’t work very well. As much as I know about psychology, I should’ve let myself grieve. My emotions came through being disconnected with everyone, I was upset and moody and I didn’t see it. I grasped to every flicker of hope, I even bought more pregnancy tests to see if I was still getting positive results. I did. For a whole week, and then that pretty little pink line started disappearing. The physical pain of my miscarriage was over but it struck me with a whole new pain emotionally. The last hope was finally gone.

Now, some people would read this and say, oh my God she is whining over a chemical pregnancy? All that over a months’ worth time? You just lost a 4 week pregnancy. Big deal. I want to let those people know, that I didn’t just lose a pregnancy. I lost a baby, I lost his or her future, I lost holding my newborn, I lost seeing her precious face, who she would’ve grown up to be. I lost everything. Even though to someone on the outside, I didn’t lose anything.

Several weeks went by, and I had plenty of distractions. Josh and I welcomed two nephews, both of our sisters were due that September. The little boys were born safe and sound, beautiful little blessings from God. My sweet girls were enjoying every day in our new house, and I strived to make every day beautiful and fun.

As I am typing this now I’m wiping tears off of my face. The painful truth of miscarriage is that you never heal. You never forget. You don’t even escape the pain. You just get better at enjoying things and changing your thoughts, warding off the crippling pain. I have been putting off writing this for so long, one full year after it happened. Writing this sends me right back to that day, and it suffocates me all over again. It’s hard to recover from writing about it, but it’s good for healing.

A few more weeks went by, and I won’t go into detail (obviously) but I realized we might be pregnant again. I started all over again, waiting for signs and trying to figure out when I could find out. Fear struck through me every other moment as I waited. I wasn’t ready for this again. I don’t want to do this again. I can’t handle it.

I got the 88¢ pregnancy tests from Walmart. I just bought a whole slew of them because I didn’t want to waste money on the big fancy tests anymore. I didn’t even want to tell my friends because I knew they were sick of hearing about my worries with all of this, and now look at me! Back at it again.

I let a week pass before I really started driving myself crazy and broke down and took one of the tests. It appeared to be negative but I’m kind of a “POASaholic” and eyeballed it until I swore I saw a positive line. ‘Course Josh didn’t see anything and brought me back down to reality.

The very next morning something showed up on my test.

Josh was skeptical. He thought I was crazy and I admit it, I get a little crazy. It drives me absolutely insane not knowing if there is a baby in my womb, forgive me! I just like to know these things so that I know not to get a Rum Runner at BWW, okay?! ‘Scuse me.

He knew I had a circle of buddies online with just the same amount of pee-test craziness that I have, so he let me give all of those gory details to them. And of course, I get an overwhelming “OMG PEE ON ALL THE STICKS” response. Lol, I love you guys! (You know who you are).

Next one, negative. Okay. I’m getting tired of this now. I know too much about the process and I know good and well that I’m just going to have to wait. It’s just that, I’m extremely impatient. But I had an adequate amount of distractions. I settled my mind back into the blissful “what if” state. What if I was actually pregnant, what if it was a boy, and Lord help us, what if it is another little girl. What would I name her. When would I be due. On and on…

Until the next morning! (Lol.)

My last little cheapie test showed in a big, beautiful positive result.

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(this is my actual test! )

(I know you can barely see it.)

(I KNOW.)

This moment marked the beginning of an amazing, beautiful adventure. I had no earthly clue what was in store for us as we started this journey. As I looked at this test all of the emotions from my miscarriages ran through me, all of the hope came back, everything, all at once.

I immediately called my doctor and scheduled an appointment as soon as I could. Having a date makes me feel better for some reason. I remember sitting down with Josh that evening, quiet and scared and hopeful. Then he smiled. He got really excited and we joked about what the girls are going to think. I got an overwhelming bout of heartburn all of a sudden, and put my hand over my chest and said, “Wow I got heartburn just now. Kind of early for heartburn isn’t it? Haha.” He laughed and said, “because it’s going to be twins, watch!” I immediately cut him off, “HAHA. Don’t say that.”

So when my appointment came, I had started feeling some pain again. I was scared, trying to prepare myself for what might come. My doctor gave me an ultrasound to see what was going on.. why I was in so much pain, because I wasn’t bleeding. I remember my hands sweating as I waited for him to come in the room. Scared to death. Josh was there with me, thankfully, to keep me from freaking out.

I waited as he turned the lights off and turned the ultrasound screen towards us. This was the moment of truth. And all of a sudden, nothing. The screen was blank, there was nothing in my womb. A crushing, horrible feeling came over me. My doctor looked over at my ovaries, one was extremely large, with some bleeding. My doctor said it might be early, but that it could very well be an ectopic pregnancy.

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He said, go home. Come back in two weeks and we will know. I was so upset and unsettled. They did a pregnancy test that was very positive so it was confusing as to why we didn’t see anything, and because I was in a good amount of pain. Surely if there was a baby there, it would’ve been visible and obvious. My husband held my hand on the way home. We were both quiet again. I didn’t know anything about ectopic pregnancies, only that they form outside the womb. The baby is surely alive, just not where he’s supposed to be. And the tragic thing about that fact is, the pregnancy will have to be terminated.

I began our wait by going home and getting straight on my computer. Looking for moms that have gone through this, wondering, scared. During these days I held my girls tight. So thankful for the sweet gift God has given me to let me hold my daughters. You don’t ever really realize what you have until it’s taken away from you. As I sat with my girls, I kept trying to tell myself, just be thankful for now. I am pregnant, today. I don’t know what will come of tomorrow. But today, I’m okay. Breathe.

I am pregnant today.

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We went to the store the next afternoon, and I decided to browse through the baby clothes very quickly, before Josh could make his way toward the milk. I caught his attention before he went past me, and I grabbed two blue fire truck pajamas off of the rack and held them up to show him, jokingly. He laughed and we continued on. I remember that and although I only did it purely out of humor, mocking his little “twins” comment he made days ago, I cannot believe that it was true. I should’ve bought those little pajamas.

My anxiety eventually got the best of me. After one week I couldn’t handle the pain. I couldn’t handle the idea of terminating a pregnancy, a baby, with a heart beat. I couldn’t do it. It would kill me inside. I had a hard enough time letting go with my first miscarriage, and my baby had already passed. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to call, maybe we could see something now. Surely I can know, now. Please.

My doctor let me come back without hesitation. I love him! He had the ultrasound room prepared and I waited. It was a rush appointment so Josh stayed at home with the girls. We figured if it is an ectopic pregnancy, then we wouldn’t want the girls there when we found out. I went alone.

After a short chat with my nurse, I sat in my room and waited for my doctor again, a bundle of nerves and on the brink of tears. I stared at the screen on the ultrasound machine, wondering what it’s going to reveal in just minutes. I said a prayer.

My doctor came in and was cheerful and he actually got on to me for worrying like I do. I fully admitted to not being able to help that. 😉 I prepared for the ultrasound, and waited for my doctor to turn the screen towards me so I could see, but he didn’t. When he began, I closed my eyes tight and clenched my fists and waited, my heart racing. I opened my eyes, he hadn’t turned the screen. He had his hand on his chin, analyzing the screen. Fear struck through me like lightening. It could be anything. What’s going on? What does he see?

I said, “is everything okay?”

And in that moment, my entire world turned upside down.

“You’re fine, Brittany, you’re having twins!”

“WHAT?!”

He called the nurse in to have a look at the picture of the two little spots on the screen that were my twin sons.

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The next few moments were a blur.. my mind was going through stages of shock that I had never felt before. I went in thinking I was going to hear awful news, hoping and praying that the baby was okay, that he or she was in the right place inside my womb, but never did I expect to hear those words.

My first thought was, “That isn’t twins. Those are just spots.”

“Oh my gosh. Twins?”

“Holy — Wow.”

“I’m going to puke.”

I made my way out of the office, with many congratulations from my doctor and his staff, all of them commenting on how shocked my face looked, all while saying “Oh my gosh” about forty-seven-thousand times. All I could think of was, it wasn’t ectopic. This is a miracle. This is a blessing. Tears started pouring before I could even get to the door of my truck. I pulled myself into the drivers seat, rested my head on the steering wheel, and cried.

Not only was the pregnancy in the right place, there were two babies. My brain simply could not understand the words that I was trying to tell myself. Two. Babies. Brit, what. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

My hands were shaking as I reached for my phone. I couldn’t wait until I got home. I pressed “Hub” on my recent calls.

“Hey, how did it go??”

“Um, everything’s fine. How are the girls?”

“They’re fine, what did they say?”

“Um, well, the uh, the… babies are in the right place.”

I couldn’t handle keeping my composure anymore. I silently cried while he tried to figure out what he just heard.

“Babies? There’s more than one?”

“Yes!” I cried.

“Oh, wow” he choked up.

“Wow, two babies. Oh wow.”

“I know!”

“Everything is okay. They’re okay.”

“My hands are sweating,” he laughed.

“I’ll show you a picture when I get home.”

“Yes, hurry home.”

I ended the call and called my mom, and I let her know. She immediately bawled there at work when I told her. It was such an amazing day for me, although I was scared to death. That night we spent the evening processing the news that we just received.

We didn’t catch a rainbow…. we caught a double rainbow.

rnbw

The meaning of a rainbow baby:

“It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened, or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath.

It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope”

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